Beam me up Scotty

Opening Song: None
Opening Mood: Sullen

Its a beautiful Tuesday morning... I wake up at 6 AM.. The song "Here I am" rings in my ears, filling me with hope and joy. I'm ready another great day of my life, I tell myself.

I get into my track suit and go outside..

Kela #1: It rained yesterday. The ground's wet and slippery. Can't jog.

Chill out, I tell myself, there are better things to do... Like what? Hmmm, let me iron my clothes.
I look at the heap of my washed clothes, carry them to the ironing board and begin the job of an Iron-Man!!

Kela #2: The power's playing hide and seek. When it finally comes back, the voltage is not sufficient and starts tripping everytime I switch on the ironbox.

Ditch maga, you've already ironed a pair of trousers and a nice cotton shirt for today.. Find something else to do...
Aha.. my shoes. Lemme polish them... There, they look dark and shiny... I love formals!!

Kela #3: Just, wait can't you?!

8:45 AM ,I am waiting to catch a bus at the banshankari bus stand. Rohit and Vasanti are blabbering something on the Radio City, the music of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna(KANK) is being premiered on Mirchi and on AIR Rainbow *Yaaaawn*, nothing worthwhile.

Kela #4: 201J forgets to stop,somehow. 201G looks as if the people were always hanging from it. Cha, missed two busses.

201M arrives.. It's full, but what the hell, I've gotta get to work, I tell myself and struggle my way in..

It's full of people, who wanna get down at the next stop, but all of whom are buried somewhere in the back-end of the bus. They shove their way out pushing and cursing... I try to shove myself into the interiors. Radio City is doing their 9:10 routine.. Somehow, I manage to get enough space for myself... *Sigh of relief*..

I don't understand one thing. Why do you find so much free space at the back end of the bus, while it's always crowded near the doorway. Why can't people be cooperative.. May be we should start giving commuting classes, like we have those classes where they say -"Fork in the left hand, Knife in the right".

Kela #5: No sooner I start wondering about the commuting classes, than it hits me. All my ironing has gone waste :( My shirt's soiled; My trousers are muddied; My shining shoes, aren't shining anymore.. Kela #3 is finally realized!!

The bus moves at snail's pace... I begin wondering whether motion is what occurs between stops or is it the other way around... The flow of thoughts is interrupted by a certain high pitched nasal voice on the radio ( I don't remember whether it's 91 or 93.3 FM).

Kela #6: I switch channels. The remix version of the same song( high pitched nasal one) is being played here. So I switch to Rainbow(101.3, if you want to...) The RJ's delivering more of "Umm"'s and "aaa" than the dialogues.. Give me a break lady, Either start liking what you do or start doing what you like... Don't torture us and yourself by RJ'ing in such a pathetic manner.

The Bus finally reaches Silk Board, and I begin experiencing pain in my shoulders. It's 9:45... 1 hour for 7Km.. Ridiculous.

Stuck in the traffic,I manage to catch the sight of a plane flying in the sky... Lucky bastards, must be probably getting instructions on what to do when any mishap occurs -Wear the jacket, put on the mask, pull the string and jump outside....

I begin to see the practical demonstration of queueing networks...

To pass time, I start thinking of what can be done to alleviate this problem.

• Start coming in early to the office.. Real early, I mean at 6 'o clock.

• Or better, follow the US timing.. i.e. 9 P.M to 7 A.M

• Buy a dozen of wrinkle free shirt with my first salary.

• Somehow convince BMTC to put up 10 decker buses.

• Work from home.. Small Office Home Office..
  

• But this was the killer idea finally managed to hit me.. Start a new fund for research in teleportation quantum physics so that we could realize the idea of "Beam me up Scotty".. What say??
  

PS: I am sorry for writing such a sorry blog. I suck at cribbing.. Priya, Elixer, Barki - Guys, I badly need lessons here... But I am disgusted and extremely pissed off.. I managed to reach my office.. Yeah, thanks to god's grace I finally did; But at 10:45 AM...
Can someone please explain me why do you need 2 hours to cover 15 Km???? Or why should the radio channels keep playing songs of the jacket wearing-beard sporting-nasal singer-cum-music composer every ten minutes?? Sigh, Some questions have no answers...

Closing Song: None...
Closing Mood: Still sullen :(

On Demand Ad World

Opening song: Saagar jaise aankho waali - Saagar
Opening mood: Calm and composed.

The company which I've joined earlier this month, is quite popular for it's TV ad's, which are not understood by the general public. But, I just love these ads, since most of them are funny in a weird way.

During the induction program, I got to chance to see a few of the ads that weren't on air in India.

One of them goes something like this.

/* Scene: A room, somberly lit. We see on screen two people. One on the couch, looking tense and wiping his forehead (tense guy). The other one seated on a comfortable chair behind a desk (the shrink). */

Tense Guy: I get weird dreams.

Shrink: What kind of dreams?

Tense Guy: Nightmares. I am being chased.

/* Scene cut: A group of men dressed in black cloaks are chasing the tense guy, who's running and gasping for breath. */

(Cut back)

Shrink: Who's chasing you?

Tense Guy: The customers, the distributors,.. Basically everyone.

Shrink: What do they want?

Tense Guy (looking very tense): Everything; Efficiently; Immediately...

Shrink: Hmmm... I see the problem. You are slow, outdated, unable to keep up and in constant denial.

Tense Guy: No - I am not...

Shrink (smiles, without missing the beat): See you are!

/* Scene fade to black. */

The letters "It's an On Demand World" appears.

It's a short ad of about 20 seconds, but it does leave a mark on the minds of the viewers...
Of course, you need to have an active mind for the mark to be inflicted, or you might just miss it!

Closing mood: Feeling sleepy.
Closing song: Jaanu meri jaan.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Opening Song: Subhaan Allah - Fanaa
Opening Mood: Recovering from a tiring Bus Journey...


Long back I had heard this quote by this bloke named Mark Twain who said, Truth is stranger than fiction. I laughed at it the first time I heard it!

Today, I present before you an interesting set of coincidences about this guy called Manu N.

Disclaimer: What is listed below is a set of true and verifiable facts.. It has nothing to do with the imagination of anyone ( Especially not the Random Walker). Some of them however may be attributed to the conscious choices made by Manu,the guy himself.

• Fact #1: Manu N was my classmate in the Comp. Engg class of 2006 .

• Fact#2: Manu N, is a die hard fan of the football club Manchester United, better known as MAN-U.
  

Now, as we all know, the "coat-of-arms" of this club features a Red-Devil... For the benifit of those who haven't observed it, I've included the logo at the top left corner of this post.

• Fact #3:During the last one year while we were residing in EBGF, Manu had christened his Computer as "Red Devil" on the lan.

The connection was obvious!!! And FYI, it was probably the second most accessed comp on the lan after Vyasa's "Whacko", since it contained all the episodes of the popular sitcoms.

• Fact #4:Cut back to the present day. Today is 6th June 2006. The day when the remake of the famous old movie The Omen will be released around the globe.

The movie is about this child who has amazing evil powers.
Kindly pay attention to the date. 6th june 2006 - that would be 06/06/06 or 6-6-6... The number of the Devil!!!

• Fact #5:And now I present before you, the last fact and probably the most interesting one.Today is Manu N's Birthday! Yes dear friends, our Red-Devil will be growing older by an year this day !!!
  

Now you know, that Twain wasn't mincing words when he made that statement...

While, I allow all you conspiracy theorists to let your imaginations fly wild, let me take a moment to wish Manu A very Happy Birthday..

Closing Mood: Recovered!! Closing Song: Bindu re Bindu - Kunal Gaanjawaala.